I doubt the existence of heaven. It’s just impossible that it could ever top the luxury and wonders of Modern American Living. Above is a snapshot of the American Dream, a room full of robots that will wash your clothes AND squeeze out the water! And they do it without complaint, so long as you keep feeding them little metal discs.Â Sure, we still have to haul all our dirty clothes to the washer robots, but until somebody invents a better solution to this age old dilemma, its the best we can do. For now. There must be intelligent people trying to fix this problem of the hauling of clothes TO the robots, but with all those great minds the universities keep churning out, the drudgery of going to the laundromat will, no doubt, soon be vanquished. Technology:Â always making the world a better place. And the water necessary to run these robots gets delivered via this wonderful invention they call “indoor plumbing”, which is truly amazing. I’m looking forward to having it installed someday.
I don’t usually go to the laundromat on N. Broadway, but I always forget why. I remember quickly every time I do go back. They don’t pump enough water into the robots, so your damp clothes just swish about in a few inches of muck. Plus, it used to be that while you folded your pants (another thing the robots still can’t do) they used to have lil’ televisions blaring at you from behind a plexiglass that protected the off button from your natural inclinations. It was a bit annoying. But now it’s even worse: with those 2 flat screen tv’s way up in the sky that also blare insipid morning programming like Despierta America and Don Pancho, but at a much higher volume. Way too much sentimentality for such an early hour. But yes, those two incessant monitors are considered a bit of luxury entertainment for you the clothes wearer, while the robots do their work. Can the American Dream get any better?
Oh yes it can!
For the next leap into the entertainment future, we now have Public Internet robots at the laundromat. Goodbye video games, hello videos of people falling! Only $1 for 14 min? That’s more entertainment per minute than I average on Ms. Pac Man.
Near this internet robot I saw a posted flyer for some site that seemed interesting. And looky here, I could check it out instantly! I chuckled at their “Because it’s the Solution for Our Times” motto, but laughed at the youtube censorship attempts just cuz they didn’t like the way some kids treated a cracker. Here it is, in case yer interested:
I still had a few minutes left so I figured I’d check out what the internet is saying about El Huarachito across the street. Hey, they now have a twitter account. The only message they’ve posted? “We now have a twitter ” Great! Now how about you get a website?
I was going to post a video response on youtube regarding my reactions to Oprah’s decision to quit her show next year (so sad) but the camera didn’t seem to be working. Some day soon the world will know how I feel about this situation.
I thought about doing a quickie post from these computers, but I got nervous that they would capture my 54 character password and mess with my site. You never know. As I was contemplating this potential misfortune the internet robot locked me out, leaving my last screen up and available for all to see. Luckily I had just clicked on the games button out of curiosity, but still, that’s some messed up way to get you to put in some more money.
I had to check on the washing robots anyways. By the time I got back, the laundromat human robot had unplugged the two internet robots. When I asked her why, she said she was “testiando” one of the robots. Birth of a new word. Too bad I couldn’t access twitter to share this with the world.
It’s like a fucking utopia all around here.