![\"lazyfood_dogs.jpg\"](\"https:\/\/chanfles.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/04\/lazyfood_dogs.jpg\")
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As a single working father of 8, CFO of a major taco sauce<\/a> company, weekend valet at an overrated Pizza joint<\/a>, and part-time accordion player with the LA phil<\/a>, I know that sometimes we’re all so busy that we need to dip into that stash of easy foods: be it frozen, dried, or canned, sometimes you just need some quick calories. And even though I’ve been known to throw uncooked packs of ramen noodles, bags of flaked oats, and 24 slices of Kraft Cheez into my child pen, I was still appalled by the nod to extreme laziness by these two new items that have made their way out of product development and into our grocery shelves.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Take for example the “Fast Franks” shown above. How hard is it to place America’s Favorite Hot Dog into a Bakery Fresh Bun? Unless you have some eye-hand coordination issues, it’s quite easy. I don’t think you’ll hear any normal kids exclaiming “Look Ma’ I put my Weiner in a Bun!” At 3 dollars for a pack of 3, when you can usually get 8 buns and 10 wieners for less than that (I’ll leave the mismatched quantities conspiracy for some other time) minus the heavy labor (of course), this product is still quite a scam. Oscar Meyer must think you’re all super fucking lazy.<\/p>\n Another hot dog related example of laziness to the max: pre-bacon wrapped salchichas. “Hey Ma’ how do you make that loopty loop to keep the tocino on the weiners?” The Salvadore\u00c3\u00b1o street food specialty has gone mainstream, and the packaging even promotes it as “como en la calle”! But where’s the damn fresh bun? Are we expected to search for our own bread products when we want the convenience of pre-wrapped? Check out the other side of the package..<\/p>\n ..with a pic of the suggested serving method, cooked on the popular aluminum cookie sheet! Add some onions and it’s authentic post-futbol game food. Right when I was taking this picture I got the friendly visit from the super market manager.<\/p>\n “Excuse me sir, can I help you with anything?”<\/p>\n “No Thanks, I’m fine.”<\/p>\n “We don’t allow photographs to be taken inside the store. You know, because of the competition.”<\/p>\n “I’m not the competition, I just like the packaging on this item. Besides, I didn’t see any signs that I can’t take pictures.” I say this knowing stores have arbitrary rules they can make up as they wish. And on cue..<\/p>\n “This is private property and we don’t have to put up any signs.” The man sez.<\/p>\n Since I already had my pic I didn’t really care, but really, what is he going to do? Arrest me? Tackle me? Take my camera? File for a restraining order? Whatever you say little man, me vale madre. How am I to report on the price of onions<\/a>? Or the availability of decent soy chorizo<\/a>? What about the caging up<\/a> of our toothpaste? I intend to cover the simple things that affect our daily lives, and if a picture is warranted, so be it. If that’s against your policy, not allowed, illegal, not right, whatever, I don’t really give a damn. That’s your problem. Go ahead and stop me.<\/p>\n Like I said, “I don’t intend to stop taking pictures.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As a single working father of 8, CFO of a major taco sauce company, weekend valet at an overrated Pizza joint, and part-time accordion player with the LA phil, I know that sometimes we’re all so busy that we need … Continue reading ![\"lazyfood_bacon1.jpg\"](\"https:\/\/chanfles.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/04\/lazyfood_bacon1.jpg\")
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