EL CHAVO! visits the Lincoln Heights X-mas Parade 2010

Lincoln Heights X-mas Parade 2010

There were rumors that it wouldn't happen this year, some sort of infighting or some budget issues with the Neighborhood Council. But it looks like something was figured out because it did go on as usual. (Sadly, that wasn't the case for this years East LA Xmas parade, it didn't happen.)

So yeah, I went.

I was expecting that it might be an hour late as in previous years, might as well go have a proper breakfast. Here we see my breakfast/lunch/dinner known as the Gujarati Thali from Jay Barat in Artesia. Plus I have to get my chest hair threaded anyways.
Oh, you don't think this is appropriate for LH Xmas Parade coverage? Well go find some other coverage if you can, cuz I got that lucrative market cornered! Good Luck chump!

Just for that I'm going to show you what my friend had, a Masala Dhosa. Yeah it was good. Plus that's traditional fare for a Xmas parade, don't you know?

Oh crud, it looks like everyone is headed to LH! Even the freeway bike rider is going faster than us. Hmm, maybe I'm going to be a lil' late.

And I sure was! I ran up to get a shot of some local news tv people. I don't remember her name, I don't watch much tv news. Cuz it sucks.

West Covina, one of the many suburbs that Eastsiders head to when they think they've finally made it. Forgive them lard for they know not what they do.

Damn, it seems I also missed the caravan of Le Blanc girls. Not that I would actually look at them or anything.

A retirement home parades their customers in an air-conditioned bus. You can't tell from this pic, but yes, they were waving.

I couldn't get very good shots because my preferred standing spot was all blocked off, they cordoned off this huge stage that nobody seemed to be using! Now that's stupid.

The beginning of the ELAC segment, from a bad angle. Blasted, I'm gonna have to move.

Here we see the crowd all seriously contemplating the parade. For the record, everyone stayed on the shady side of the street.

Downey Park kids hooting and hollering.

Q: What's an LH parade without Bobby Castillo?
A: Not a parade.

LH Chamber of Commerce dude.

Synergy All Stars dancing in the streets.

Oh dear. OH DEAR! I use the term Raider Nation in a derogatory way, to define Chicanos that are into crass consumption of car culture and sports trinkets, with a penchant for thug posturing bravado. AKA: meatheads. But look at these cute girls! I'm going to try and be respectful.

I'm not sure why this team that left town many years ago still has a grip on people. Maybe it's the color scheme? The piratey icon? The idea of raiding? All I know is that nobody gives a shit about the Rams.

Your typical Raider Nation equipped vehicle. They are out on the road, most of them don't even belong to this particular car club.

They are mostly working class people, you'd think I'd be down with them. Maybe I should hang out with them some time.

4 life! Is that a skull clown in the raiders logo?

That horn was recklessly loud. A baby behind me started to cry. I hope her eardrums weren't damaged.

Yup, that's a big screen tv for the back seat of the car. Plus those smaller ones closer to the gate. Ugg, this I cannot condone.

If Ed Hardy painted trucks, this might be a model.

Paletero at work checks out the Ann Street School Drill Team.

The Power 106 jeep was getting no love. But when they started giving out free crap the love started to flow.

Look at that precision!

Why is this guy so happy?

Ah! It looks like he found a car to take to his Auto Wrecking! I don't think this car actually runs, but it does get around. Last spotted at the festival at Sacred Heart.

Aztec Dancer heading back already. I guess I did miss alot.

LH Tigers. Roar!

What's this, RHS? I don't remember them ever being at the LH parade. I think I've heard about this school.

Home of the Mighty Riders. Training ground for future Raiders. These pretty ladies seem determined to carve out their own path.

Nice work there St. Vincent. Can't you get some of your hipster customers to help out with some decorating ideas?

Ranfla Time!

Your average Cotton Candyero.

And your run-of-the-mill hot dogero.

The raspado man was being kept busy on such a hot winter day. Temps were around 85 degrees, not bad eh?

There's a few shops around LA where you can get a raspado, although the one in Highland Park has recently closed, which was inevitable since they were scooping out their crushed raspado ice from some giant machine and it had a terrible texture and the ice chunks were way too large. Let me show you the proper way of making a raspado. Get your ice block. Get your raspado shaver. Shave ice.

Place said shaved ice into a cup.

Pour some homemade syrup onto the ice. None of those bullshit bulk Smart & Final syrups, those are officially considered gross.

Look at this one, with chunks of actual tamarindo pulp. A proper raspado! Only $1 for a refreshing sweet and tart treat. These used to cost 50 cents not long ago, but you know, La Crisis.

Yet all these fools were clamoring for a free sample of Sierra Mist "Natural", a soda product. Why was this in the parade? It's just a marketing gimmick. Even though I like that they are using sugar instead of High Fructose Corn Syrup you need to remember what "natural flavor" actually means:

(3) The term natural flavor or natural flavoring means the essential oil, oleoresin, essence or extractive, protein hydrolysate, distillate, or any product of roasting, heating or enzymolysis, which contains the flavoring constituents derived from a spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or similar plant material, meat, seafood, poultry, eggs, dairy products, or fermentation products thereof, whose significant function in food is flavoring rather than nutritional.

Yup, your natural flavors could be meat. Yuck! I will trust a street vendor over a Corporation any day.

A girl races to bring flowers to some beloved. I think that's Wilson HS in the background.

"Daddy, I want this fancy one! With the copyrighted cartoon character!"
Are you sure you don't want that other cheaper treat, my little princess? They all taste the same.

Free coffee and cookies, courtesy of the cellphone shop. Generous!

Lil' Horsies being tasked to entertain the children.

Oddly, the elotero wasn't having too much business for his hot corn. Damn heatwave!

Raider Nation comes in different forms.

The Zacatecas truck. Not really what I envision when I think of Zacatecas.

Christians at a Xmas parade. How quaint.

Let us take a moment to once again glance at the oldest and least appetizing wedding cake window display in LH and possibly anywhere. Shit is dusty. Looks old and teeth breaking. Plus there's things toppled over on it. Consider an update, maybe some real cakes? Maybe just leave it as a window.

Man in car.

Fashionable crowds always gather in LH. Just ignore the people in their pajamas.

Horsey crew.

The normal people brigade: paletero, musicos, janitor, mother, food delivery. Oh wait, they were just crossing the street.

"Please don't slam on the brakes."  I can read thoughts.

Another pony customer, going at full clip for a funner ride. For the lil' human at least.

A group of high spirited Mexican dancers with special needs. Lots of cheers and applause went up for them.

Doing the Macarena!

Some sort of beauty queen type of deal? No sign on the car though, that would have been helpful.

Although it didn't do much for Ricky Romero of some Toronto Blue Jays of Major League Baseball. Nobody seemed to know who he was. Thus the crowd just stared quietly at the nervous man on display.

Ladies hiding behind parasols in a car in a parade.

Even the drinking club that gathers at The Office came out to brave the sunlight just to partake in the parade activities. Wow!

I went by the bank parking lot to see if they were still doing the after party thing, looks like they were. But here we see concerned friends waiting to see what happens with one of their own that I surmise had a bout of heat exhaustion. She was in the police car with a full blast of air conditioning going, appearing to recover okay. Nice outfits btw!

Hot dogera doing steady business.

Hanging out the window waiting for Santa.

A colorful new tool in the drug smugglers arsenal: the narco-copter! Err, that's what I assumed. Notice the accordian player in the cockpit.

Unfortunately, its just some sort of military helicopter converted into a promotional tool for a local music group. Can there be anything more sinister than advertising? I declare no.

Finally, Santa coming to end the festivities and deliver his goodies. Thus, the parade is over.

Busy Paletero! Everyone wants what he's selling.

I missed this in the parade, some transformer car. Nerds just don't know what to do with their money, thus this.

Even with all the competition they all made bank.

Hey, where's Santa going with such determination? Must be a special present he needs to deliver.

Santa on his way to his toy factory! Look at that kid all mesmerized at his presence.

Oh dear. All too human! Santa waiting in line to use the porta-potty. Nevermind the cookies, let Santa go first you naughty kids!

Meanwhile, some line dancing broke out. Why do people have to ruin a good time with such mindless mediocrity? For shame!

Over at the sled run, the line was wrapped around the parking lot.

But it seemed to be worth the wait.

Some guy was extorting lunch money from the passing kids. That's just not right.

Is that one of the Campos brothers? Oh yes it is! Is that sort of thievery what you learned from your time volunteering at Flor y Canto?
I hope it is!

Snake on a plain guy. Terrified kids in his wake.

Meanwhile, Santa clears out of the porta potty. There's a yuletide log for whomever wishes to take it. Seasons Greetings!

A Santa helper going crazy on the dance floor.

Raymundo shows off his moves.

Another kid does his thing.

The free pizza and soda leads to lots of wasted resources. Is that much one-use cardboard really necessary to transport a bunch of pizzas? How about a mobile pizza oven to keep them warm? Why not just clean and sanitize a pickup truck, heat up the cargo bed with a flamethrower, and put all the pizzas on that? Simple enough.
But the public doesn't seem to notice these things, and they like their pizza.

The pizza cleanup begins.

As the dirty money gets exchanged, the lil' horse tries to escape, to no avail. Master has a firm hold on the reins.

Fun times were had by mostly all.

Back at The Office, the drinking club has gone back into seclusion, with nary a trace that anything exists beyond these doors.

The other Campos bro, helping people out and not taking the kids lunch money! Jaja! ;)

The xmas tree at the mortuary. Full of non-melting snow, how apt!

While the traffic resumes on Broadway...

...back on Griffin, the stage with no purpose is still taking up space and impeding traffic. I hope they didn't spend much on this lil' stage.

That concludes the coverage of the Lincoln Heights Christmas Parade of 2010. 

PS. Where the hell is Norky!?!

If you would like to comment on this post, you can do so at the CHANFLES! blog post