Food Fight

On Wednesday the LA city council voted to restrict the time a catering truck can park to dispense “victuals” on city streets, limiting them to 1 hour on commercial streets and 30 minutes on residential, after which they have to move a half mile away and cannot return to the original spot for that same amount of time. You must be thinking “that can’t be true” but really, they did. They should call it what it is, the Anti-Taco Truck Law because somehow I don’t see the Mobile Trattorias getting hit by this grand stroke of idiocy, as it’s designed to be selectively enforced. I bet the Clenched-Ass Mofo that thought up this “idea” has a personal beef with some popular taco truck; how nice it must be to know jerks in power to do your dirty deeds. What other reason would make them decide to harass those that bring us a unique staple of Southern California food and culture, one that locals and visitors seem to enjoy?

Even during these times when immigrants get maligned and multi-lingual education is targeted by rightwing radio and bomb threats, there’s yet to be a mobilization against Mexican food: why cut off your tongue despite your phobias? Westsiders, fake west-of-the-river eastsiders, and Eastsiders alike all appreciate a good taco truck; that might even be a point by which to unite all these disparate groups! So why the anti-taco stance? I figure it’s just another salvo in the ongoing international class war, a tiny snapshot of the battle played out locally on your dinner plate. In LA, that struggle tends to show itself in the context of Mexicans/Immigrants, and this new rule hits them where they eat. But there are always other plans afoot to target where they grow their food, where they can work, and where they can live by systematically eliminating affordable housing: it’s a slow process of exerting control, one that Juan Gonzalez thinks is designed to turn American cities into a European model where the poor are forced into the outskirts while the moneyed move in to claim the inner city. Que poca madre.

And what do they propose will take the place of the local taco truck, where will we get our mobile eats? Will we have to travel far to find one of those barftacular places known as a McDonalds owned Chipotle restaurant? (Trust me, I recently took a test bullet and the wound is not an easy one to heal, stay away!) Or will we have to pin our hopes for quick and easy food on grotesque concepts like the one that is coming soon to the Santa Anita Maul, the Crispycone? Have you seen the abomination that is the guacamole cone? That’s the kind of future we have to look forward to if the attack on street food goes unchallenged.

It’s also a personal offense to me as it throws a roach in my plans of starting up a chain of Veggie Taco Trucks; now what am I going to do with my sign? The Class War is on Juanito, go get your molcajete!