Urine Lorax?

In Downtown Los Angeles, someone needs to speak for the trees. Not from getting chopped down and turned into Thneeds but from getting turned into convenient dog urinals. How is dog urination an acceptable soil amendment for sidewalk trees? Look at this poor specimen on Spring St. and the thick band of yellow urine which has been placed on it like some toxic coating. That’s a pretty fucked up thing to feed a stationary tree. Even my crazy cat wouldn’t be that messed up to another living organism.

Then again, since humans have no easy access to toilets around this part of town either, maybe this is just a natural response imposed by the environment. Thus I propose we just accept Spring Street as Downtown’s open air public urinal and toilet. It’s kinda already playing that role, why not make it official and maybe we can even get the city to flush it all down the gutters once a day with some high pressure hoses. That seems reasonable and cost effective.

Won’t you join me in turning Spring Street into the public toilet it should be?

When public restrooms are outlawed, then only turning public streets into outhouses will suffice!

The Streets Are Our Common Troughs!

Piss Away!


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3 Responses to Urine Lorax?

  1. waltarrrrr says:

    El Chavo! I was thinking this exact same thing on the very day you posted this. Stopping for coffee at a sidewalk cafe on Spring Street I noticed that dog urine has now officially surpassed human urine on the streets of the Historic Bank District. No stationary object is safe.

  2. Lorena says:

    sorry to disappoint but that dog urine(contains NPK/fertilizer) is actually probably the only nourishment that the tree is receiving as it is surrounded by concrete and cannot even be rejuvenated by the falling of it’s own leaves. I suppose nature devised this symbiotic urban relationship so people could be in some balance with her. Imagine a city with no trees.

  3. EL CHAVO! says:

    Haha, I guess I’m only saying what we are all thinking! 😉

    I doubt the amount of urine that tree gets (in front of a cafe and a pet supply store) is good for it. I’d rather imagine a city with no dogs.

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