A comment by Cindylu on a previous post, where she wonders if she is using a dicho correctly, made me think it’s about time we came up with some new ones that make sense straight out of the gate. I’ve heard the sin pelos en la lengua one before, but I really have no idea where it comes from, and even less how to explain it to others. Dichos are common around the world and in many cultures, used to inform, warn, or even as a shorthand to express a concept. They just take a different name and form.
I prefer the simple ones that are easy to understand, like camaron que se duerme, se lo lleva la corriente (trans: shrimp that falls asleep, will be taken by the current) which basically means to pay attention to the things around you lest you be washed away. My mother used to tell me this practical one to discourage speeding up when the train track lights start blinking: mejor un minuto en la vida, que la vida en un minuto. (trans: better a minute in your life, than your life in a minute.) Practical enough, I hereby loan it to the MTA so they can use it in safety ads. And my grandma liked to use this one: Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres. (trans: tell me who you hang with and I will tell you who you are.) Basically a diss that she didn’t like my punk friends with their weird haircuts, but I’d already become immune to those barbs. As that last one illustrates, these little saying can also be used to subtly enforce a conservative, backwards take on the world, as a way to make sure people stay in line. That’s not something I want to encourage.
Since so many dichos are slightly conservative or just plain confusing I propose this: lets come up with some new ones, some short interesting sentences that playfully encapsulate a modern concept and are simple enough to be sprinkled into a casual conversation. English or Spanish, either will work. Easy, que no? Sure it is, and it’s fun too, watcha:
Sartén caliente quema manos. (Hot pan burns hands.)
A chicken runs, a headless chicken runs in circles. (Un pollo corre, pollo degollado corre en circulos.)
Mejor una paseada por la Primera y Breed, que una redada en Soto y Brooklyn. (Watch out for the chota.)
Jobs are boring, stealing office supplies will spice up your day. (Estos cabrones me tienen confianza.)
You get the idea, now go crazy and post yours in the comments. And to sweeten the deal on this super exciting challenge, the best or worst new dicho will win a prize of a sheet of paper! Err, not a regular paper, but a papel picado like the one pictured above, suitable for decorating your house or for covering up that bullet hole on your security door. Yeah, we noticed. What do you say gang, are you with me? To the keyboards!
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A beer in the hand is better than two in the ice chest.
(you know what I’m talking about!)
East is East, and West is West, and the two shall meet down by the riverside, to study war no more.
There! a pastiche dicho.
Estuve a carcajadas with “Estos cabrones me tienen confianza.”
There’s something my dad would often say, in English though I’m not sure if it’s a dicho as much as it’s just a favorite phrase of mine: “Look at this mickey-mouse piece of shit.”
Growing up my mom used so many dichos and I never got them. Even know I still don’t get them. .. they just make me laugh. I want to share a dicho I heard a lot growing up: Perro que no camina, no encuentra hueso.
Wow… This is a lot harder than I would have thought.
I humbly propose the following, inspired by your wildly received “How to make Mexican Rice” post: http://chanfles.com/blog/?p=564.
“Toast first or eat mush.”
In other words, take your time in the beginning to do it right or suffer the consequences with something subpar.
Not new ones, but ones to throw out for those who’ve not been lucky enough to hear them before: “cosa mala nunca muere,” “cuernos a los malditos,” “cria uno cuervos para que le saquen los ojos,” “al que nacio para barril aunque lo fajen” and perhaps a new one occasioned by a family member hearing false reports of her own death, “si van a pensar que estoy muerta manden flores.”
You don’t drive me crazy, ese, but you are riding shotgun.
Rice in a burrito is nothing but filler.
A cholo with a blog is a fear of the Westside.
When you follow the horses in a parade, watch your step.
Don’t be a Piñata to him/her.
julio… my tio would always say “puro mickey mouse”
hahahaha thanks that brought back memories.
not a new one but a new one to me…
when i was in oaxaca, i went to a hip hop club and everyone there was in their early 20’s and this one kid kept sweating me and i told him i was old enough to be his mother and he told me “Gallina vieja hace buen caldo” i was rolling!
“check yo ass b4 yo ass gets checked”
Some other funny dichos:
El amor es ciego pero los vecinos no
(love is blind but the neighbors aren’t–reminds me of my teenage days)
Aguacate maduro, pedo seguro
(not going to explain)
A Roma (Gypsy) dicho:
Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes the bear gets you.
I have Chicano parents so I was treated to a variety of classic rock dichos:
You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.
And the timeless classic, “para pendejo no se estudia.”
la mala hierba nunca muere!
I got a book a few years ago by José Antonio Burciaga entitled In Few Words/En Pocas Palabras: A Compendium of Latino Folk, Wit and Wisdom. It’s full of dichos in Spanish (translated for the non bilingual folks) organized by topics like education, cooking and love.
Here’s one from the book:
“Los sabios componen los dichos y los tontos los repiten.”
I’ve been trying to think of something clever and wise, but haven’t come up with anything. Maybe that says something.
thought of it this morning:
“Mejor solo y calmado, que accompa~ado y deseperado.”
(better alone and calm, than accompanied and stressed)
“Mejor vivir la vida y no escribir, que escribir de nada de le que vivistes.”
(better to live life and not write about it, than to write about that which you have not lived)
FAT PEOPLE ARE HARDER TO KIDNAP. (come muchos tamales y estaras seguro)
by the way, have you ever had a taco-tamal? i went to guadalajara a week ago and they had this bad ass taco-tamales.
“la mala hierba se fuma”
I’ve always liked:
“Te haces pendejo para tragar a puños”
I should get extra points for using an ‘ñ’
Thanks everyone for all the great submissions, that’s a good sampling of themes! I’m gonna wait a little while longer before I name a winner, feel free to leave as many as you’d like.
From my grandmother and I guess she feared for the virginity of her grand daughters
Don’t let him think if he buys you a coke he can squeeze it out of you later.
If you sleep with dogs, you’ll wake up with fleas.
Seems like moms, grandmoms, aunts and uncles are the same in any culture.
“The heart wants what the heart wants, no matter what the head says”
“amor de lejos es de pendejos”
not true though, my girlfriend used to go to school in SF and i waited 4yrs. It was a bitch just seeing her once a month.
follow-up to p3k’s last one:
“The head wants what the head wants, no matter what the other head says.”
please tell me where that LH tortilleria is, dammit. that’s not a dicho, just a request porfas. I am withering from Guerrero intake.
El Dorado is at 2928 N. Main St. and online at http://www.eldoradotortillas.com You can find them at the Ave 28 Big Saver but if you go to the factory, by the parking lot there’s a door where you can buy them at much cheaper price. Try the Gourmet Yellow Corn ones, they’re my favorite.
To KIKO:
in total agreement with your version!
I recently discovered one in inscribed above a toilet at an english pub in thailand.
“Your hooker has aids.”
Sage and true advice.
“Dos cabezas piensan mejor que una”
The advantage of being a guy lol
so who won?
a classic from my mom,
“No me vengas con que a Chencha le a apestan los pies”
Basically, it was her way of letting me know not to try to BS my way out.
I’m not sage enough to compose my own dichos, but here are some of my mom’s.
“No me vengas luego con que a Chuchita le dieron torzones.” (a version of susuka’s apparently, but I get the feeling my mom is trying to preemptively say “I told you so”)
“Duermes como si tuvieras padre y madre.” ( I don’t)
“Duermes hasta que se te hinche el ombligo.” (WTF?)