Welcome to the New Downtown Los Angeles!
Have you heard the good news?
Some darted into discount clothing and electronics stores. Others waited to catch a bus.
Then there was the crowd that five years ago wasn’t here. A group of stylish 20-somethings were having a bite at Umamicatessen. Just up the street, the Los Angeles Brewing Company had a batch of office workers gathered at the bar for happy hour. Some well-dressed diners were beginning to trickle in to Figaro, a massive new French restaurant near Sixth Street.
Are you one of the average working class people that works, lives, or visits Downtown Los Angeles on a regular basis? Well you can fuck off now cuz nobody wants you here. The heart of this grand metropolis is getting a spit shine, picking up the trash, kicking out the poor, and hosing down the piss to make room for the new “creative class” that will miraculously revitalize our city (whatever that means) with their coffee consumption, penchant for expensive food, and fascination for lil’ doggies. We have decided to swap out the human piss and shit that comes from institutional neglect for the much more agreeable excrement of trophy dogs. It will be lovely!
Maybe we can build the world’s largest communal toilet, a much needed service in downtown, next to the proposed football stadium just to balance things out?
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