Huevos Rancheros: San Luis Obispo Edition, Las Delicias

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“I had the Huevos Rancheros and ¬†it had a nice presentation and cool touches (like cheese sprinkled over the top). The taste was wonderful and looking forward to trying something else here.”

I found this place on Yelp. Ugh. I mean, it’s occasionally useful but goddamn is it so often annoyingly wrong.

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“Delicious, homemade authentic Mexican food, and amazing service! We felt like we were guests in their home.”

Some great things were said about this place, and the pic of the HR’s was tantalizing, with a green sauce rather than red, maybe they feel confident in their culinary skills and know-how. Promising. At $8.59 it shows confidence in a quality product to price at the 9, rather than some inferior plate that deserves a rounded number. Bravado!

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“The food was beautifully crafted and executed with love, we will return again and will absolutely recommend this place for anyone visiting or driving through SLO.”

Hey look at all the cool Mexican scenery murals, that looks like Patzcuaro lake and…hey…wait a minute…

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“The food is really fresh and full of flavor. The mango salsa is a must try.”

…that ain’t Mexico, that’s some Italy scenes up there! That’s the Alps, not the Popo. Round of applause to the owners for re-purposing some previous Italian eateries paintwork for their own, you almost had me!

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“What a joy to eat at Las Delicias. Such fresh authentic food of Mexico truly makes it the very best!”

Nice and light and crispy corn chips, and some decent salsas as well. Vamos bien.

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“The food is amazing, the lovely family that owns and runs this restaurant is the best! We have found our favorite Mexican restaurant in SLO! We definitely recommend it.”

La vida es una Tombola, so you deal with what you get. Looks pretty good but I quickly realized I pulled the short straw. The salsa verde was way too tangy and punchy, too many tomatillos and lots of spicy chiles. It makes your mouth pucker in a strange way. The eggs were decent, the tortilla was slightly charred on the comal for an interesting experience, but the salsa verde just didn’t work. Beans and rice were mostly okay but very salty. Fine people attending to this restaurant tho, they are trying hard to do something good. I left a nice tip since I am visiting foreign lands and expecting something familiar. I deserve to be betrayed.

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I ate most of it, til’ it seemed like a safe amount to leave behind to show respect for the dish. I needed food and they delivered.

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Outside, some hapless recycler was way too confident in his abilities to haul his cargo to the bottle depot. I same him across the street when I went into the restaurant. When we left a half hour later, he had made it to this side of the street, with all his shit falling all over the place. Looks like he got yet another person to help him out.

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When I was getting into the car earlier, some spandex and helmet wearing biker was helping him with his load, a truly friendly act of kindness I would never expect to see in Los Angeles. I assume that in SLO there are still some unclear lines on the class distinctions about bike riding, homelessness, recycling, and poverty. I hope they don’t get to that advanced stage where bike advocates start hating the poor, that current and dark mood prevailing in LA.

I said something nice about SLO. It’s a nice place.

Also: Foodies are a modern day louse. Their understanding of food is a scourge that ruins the experience of our most basic need.

Yeah, I said it.

Las Delicias  805.439.4477
12304 Los Osos Valley Rd
San Luis Obispo, CA 93405

Extra! Extra! Extra!

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The HR’s are not as bad as the disgusting tourist attraction alley full of old gum.

Extra! Extra! Extra! Extra!

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And that wall full of chicle and spit is still wayyyyy better than that total shit show that is the Buelton Avenue of Flags and Crippled Children. I drove by just to verify that piece o’crap was still there.

Yup.

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