We Have A Winner!

The polls are closed and a winner in the “create a new dicho” contest has been decided. The ballots were submitted to the team at PricewaterhouseCoopers for rigorous and fair inspection, but were summarily thrown out a window when the demand for payment in forms other than bottle caps could not be met. Racists. So I took a stab at it.

I can now declare, with great confidence, that the winning new dicho, soon to go into widespread popular usage, peppering conversations with its simple wisdom, will eventually become so common that nobody will remember where it came from or what it means.

And the winner, by just one vote, is “Toast first or eat mush” by Regina! Even though it refers to the process of making Mexican rice it is vague enough to apply to multiple situations, as a sort of caution to pay close attention to how you start something so it doesn’t turn bad later. And it’s even more powerful as a subtle insinuation of violence, in a “you better make a brindis to our good friend or I’m gonna break all your teeth” sort of way. And it’s only five words! Well done. Your gift will soon be in the mail.

I also liked P-3000’s “Mejor vivir la vida y no escribir, que escribir de nada de lo que vivistes” a reminder that writing about life is fine, but ultimately life is for living. And Be Good came up with the appropriate “East is East, and West is West, and the two shall meet down by the riverside, to study war no more” knowing full well that was right up my alley. It’s a bit too long for a dicho but I’m down with the sentiment. So prizes to P-3000 and Be Good as well.

But I can’t end this without mentioning a few of the runner ups, just for shits and giggles. Some aren’t new but it’s good to remember the classics.

Notoriouslig submitted the excellent and funny “si van a pensar que estoy muerta manden flores.” True enough.

“When you follow the horses in a parade, watch your step” by e@v is practical, it’ll keep your shoes clean!

Ritzy P had someone tell her “gallina vieja hace buen caldo.” Sas!

Vero point out that “para pendejo no se estudia.” I know all about that.

Rolo had me laughing with his reasoning for eating more tamales: “FAT PEOPLE ARE HARDER TO KIDNAP.”

Matt Lucas submitted this specific but possibly very useful nugget of wisdom: “your hooker has aids.” Whoa.

And on that upbeat note, thanks everyone for playing along. Remember, dichos are easy to incorporate into a conversation and help you from needlessly wasting words. Use them wisely.